the desire to
sexuality is not place apart, a saved domain, but a place of
encounter essential to couple's harmony. Sexuality is determined
inside history. This is why respect of different time of
facilitate this slow construction.
The path is marked
by scars, the biggest being, conscious or not, the break of our link
to our mother and our family.
If couple have
settle a good dialogue on its intimacy, it will find happiness and
pleasure which will help them grow and lean on their
the myth which remains with teenagers is that union is at the
beginning good or bad. He justifies his sexual experiences, more or
less helped by the game of seduction, and conquest. But in extreme
cases where scars cannot be healed and that are close to pathology,
sexuality is a slow construction. In this sense, multiple attempts
can shut the potential of growth that a faithful couple could find.
American sex therapists seem to agree that women orgasm reaches its
plate after ten years of common life. In this sense, sexuality on TV
showing "good-time-any-time" is a dangerous lure. Sexuality is a
place of encounter of hearts and bodies inside difference and
woman (slightly caricatural but not without ground) :
sexuality needs to go deeply in terms of encounter and dialogue. For
a woman, happiness and pleasure comes from a total harmony. They will
only have sense when the encounter is the fulfillment of a long
loving dialogue where each gesture, words are written, integrated
inside a totality larger than flesh. For a woman, desire is also
linked with its fertility. It becomes stronger when its fertility is
at the top (it explains some surprises...)
more rapid in their desire, but a better attention to its wife can be
a discovery of another kind, where happiness of the other is
happiness for himself. Temperance of its impulse becomes then a new
path towards a more intense encounter, where pleasure is a summit
like a returned gift of the other happiness.
A complementarity to be
archetypes often reducing, the encounter is a place of union,
symphony. Conscious of essential differences, both can raise inside a
part of its masculinity or femininity which inhabits him.
This is why a
woman, when learning how to be more open and give better attention to
the desire of its husband can go towards a better encounter. For men,
temperance, patience, tenderness are paths towards the
improvement of the encounter.
Sexuality inside a
danger is to separate sexuality to the other forms of
generally unconstructive when it excludes sexuality from the area of
dialogue. On the contrary, when sexuality is in the heart of day's
life, surprise, feast can extend naturally towards sexuality.
Cartesian philosophy which separates heart and body is against
conjugal harmony. Alphonse d'Heilly in "Aimer en actes
et en vérité", tells this history positive on many ways
Mrs fights during dinner because of the taste of the soup. Mr. goes
to his garden and comes back a quarter an hour later, calmed, and
wants to have a kiss, which will be refused. She still thinks about
Difference of ways,
even exagerated, show a major difference between men and women. One
is in present time, the other is in the duration of time. In this
context, a sexual encounter can only be a success when a meeting
occurs between both. The wife will not be able to give herself if she
is not in peace, if the encounter is not global. It does not mean she
caricature, men or women are called for a greater mutual attention.
Through this continual movement made of dialogue and attention
happiness and pleasure are possible. We can understand how sexuality
cannot evolve without love and both without time and
Orgasm, myth or
path drawn above shows a way where couple can find more happiness and
pleasure in the encounter. On this base, the encounter can lead to a
greater pleasure, one made of shared happiness. But this happiness
cannot be searched. It is more a gift.
Sexuality is different to its
reduce expression of genitality. It does not resume in sexual