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 Find happiness

Beyond the desire to merge, sexuality is not place apart, a saved domain, but a place of encounter essential to couple's harmony. Sexuality is determined inside history. This is why respect of different time of dialogue can facilitate this slow construction.

The path is marked by scars, the biggest being, conscious or not, the break of our link to our mother and our family.

If couple have settle a good dialogue on its intimacy, it will find happiness and pleasure which will help them grow and lean on their union.




One of the myth which remains with teenagers is that union is at the beginning good or bad. He justifies his sexual experiences, more or less helped by the game of seduction, and conquest. But in extreme cases where scars cannot be healed and that are close to pathology, sexuality is a slow construction. In this sense, multiple attempts can shut the potential of growth that a faithful couple could find. American sex therapists seem to agree that women orgasm reaches its plate after ten years of common life. In this sense, sexuality on TV showing "good-time-any-time" is a dangerous lure. Sexuality is a place of encounter of hearts and bodies inside difference and complementarity :

rond  woman (slightly caricatural but not without ground) :

Her sexuality needs to go deeply in terms of encounter and dialogue. For a woman, happiness and pleasure comes from a total harmony. They will only have sense when the encounter is the fulfillment of a long loving dialogue where each gesture, words are written, integrated inside a totality larger than flesh. For a woman, desire is also linked with its fertility. It becomes stronger when its fertility is at the top (it explains some surprises...)


rond Men

Men are more rapid in their desire, but a better attention to its wife can be a discovery of another kind, where happiness of the other is happiness for himself. Temperance of its impulse becomes then a new path towards a more intense encounter, where pleasure is a summit like a returned gift of the other happiness.



rond  A complementarity to be

Beyond archetypes often reducing, the encounter is a place of union, symphony. Conscious of essential differences, both can raise inside a part of its masculinity or femininity which inhabits him.

This is why a woman, when learning how to be more open and give better attention to the desire of its husband can go towards a better encounter. For men, temperance, patience, tenderness are paths towards the improvement of the encounter.


 Sexuality inside a totality

The big danger is to separate sexuality to the other forms of encounter.

Prudishness is generally unconstructive when it excludes sexuality from the area of dialogue. On the contrary, when sexuality is in the heart of day's life, surprise, feast can extend naturally towards sexuality. Cartesian philosophy which separates heart and body is against conjugal harmony. Alphonse d'Heilly in "Aimer en actes et en vérité", tells this history positive on many ways :

Mr. et Mrs fights during dinner because of the taste of the soup. Mr. goes to his garden and comes back a quarter an hour later, calmed, and wants to have a kiss, which will be refused. She still thinks about the soup...

Difference of ways, even exagerated, show a major difference between men and women. One is in present time, the other is in the duration of time. In this context, a sexual encounter can only be a success when a meeting occurs between both. The wife will not be able to give herself if she is not in peace, if the encounter is not global. It does not mean she cannot evolve.

Beyond this caricature, men or women are called for a greater mutual attention. Through this continual movement made of dialogue and attention happiness and pleasure are possible. We can understand how sexuality cannot evolve without love and both without time and engagement.

 Orgasm, myth or reality       

The path drawn above shows a way where couple can find more happiness and pleasure in the encounter. On this base, the encounter can lead to a greater pleasure, one made of shared happiness. But this happiness cannot be searched. It is more a gift.


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Sexuality is different to its reduce expression of genitality. It does not resume in sexual relations.

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